


In The Black Chair

by krikkiter68



Category: Scottish Actor RPF, The Thick of It (TV)
Genre: AU, Celebrity Mastermind, Established Relationship, Fluff and Crack, Innuendo, M/M, Slash, Swearing, british tv
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 20:22:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17290769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krikkiter68/pseuds/krikkiter68
Summary: Malcolm and Jamie are spending a lazy post-Christmas evening watching TV, when they spot someone who looks very familiar.AU.





	In The Black Chair

**Author's Note:**

> Contains major spoilers for anyone who hasn't seen the 2nd January edition of Celebrity Mastermind...

It was a Wednesday evening, and Malcolm and Jamie were sprawled on Malcolm’s comfortable black leather sofa, watching the TV. Malcolm lazily ran his long fingers through Jamie’s dark curls as the younger man leaned back against his chest.

“Get the remote, would ye?” Jamie murmured.

“Can’t be arsed. Fuckin’ get it yerself,” Malcolm said, leaning forward to kiss Jamie’s forehead.

“Fuckin’ same. Quite like ‘Mastermind’, though. Remember it from when I was a kid. ‘I’ve started, so I’ll finish – ‘”

“As ye fuckin’ said tae me last night,” Malcolm said, grinning.

“Cheeky,” Jamie said, craning his neck round. “Celebrities, though? I haven’t fuckin’ heard of any of them.”

Malcolm leaned in and gave him a small, sweet kiss on the lips, and then straightened up. His eyes narrowed.

“Who’s this guy in the black chair, now? Ye havenae got a fuckin’ brother, have ye?”

Jamie snorted.

“Not that I fuckin’ know of.”

“He’s supportin’ The Vegan Society? Maybe he’s your benevolent double. Everyone knows ye’re a fuckin’ werewolf,” Malcolm intoned.

Jamie bared his teeth and reared back against Malcolm’s torso.

“Aye. I’m a fuckin’ carnivore. As I’ll fuckin’ demonstrate to ye later…”

Malcolm laid a peremptory palm across Jamie’s mouth.

“Hush yer whist. He knows shitloads about Watergate.”

 

“Fuck!” Jamie exclaimed later. “He’s won! By miles! Fair play tae ye, mate!”

“Hang on,” Malcolm said, “what did Humphrys just fuckin’ say?”

Jamie shrugged.

“Wasnae really listenin’. Somethin’ about how Paul could beat Malcolm-somebody tae death with the trophy. Nae gonna happen, though. Just look at the guy. He’s obviously really fuckin’ nice.”

“In theory though,” Malcolm drawled, “he could stake someone with that fuckin’ trophy. It’s the right fuckin’ shape.”

“He’ll be safe from ye, then,” Jamie said, giggling. “Everyone knows ye’re really a vampire.”

“Is that right?” Malcolm growled.

He rolled Jamie over and pinned him against the sofa.

“Well, let me prove it to ye, sweetheart,” he murmured.


End file.
